


Barilzar's Mazed Burden

by TonalModulator



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Backstory, Barilzar's Mazed Backstory, Barilzar's Mazed Band, Gen, clockwork city, or should i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 16:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19949347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonalModulator/pseuds/TonalModulator
Summary: Barilzar, once a Clockwork Apostle under direct mentorship from Sotha Sil, has created a device to allow him to leave the Clockwork City. Sotha Sil finds him in Nirn-Above and impresses upon him the weight of what he has created.





	Barilzar's Mazed Burden

**Author's Note:**

> > "You have no place here, child of living flesh. The Mazed Band must not be allowed to leave this tomb. The Band should never have existed at all. That was my folly, and this is my curse. For all eternity, I am damned to walk in this half life, to keep my creation from destroying the hearts and minds of mortals. Those who would challenge my fate will pay with their lives."
>> 
>> Barilzar, Morrowind: Tribunal DLC
> 
> I first met Barilzar in ESO and loved him, and then I met him in TES3: Morrowind, where he's a Lich Lord of Regret and is made to indirectly help kill Sotha Sil, and it made me sad. So I wrote this to try to help connect the dots.
> 
> Also, here's a link to "[On Extending Existence](https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:On_Extending_Existence)," which I reference in the fic.

A portal opened among the hills of southeastern Vvardenfell, and a Dunmer in the robes of a Clockwork Apostle stepped out. He took a moment to check himself over. He was definitely alive, it seemed, and all of his limbs looked to be in place. Then he looked around at his surroundings. He was in Azura's Coast, and...oh! The old familiar Velothi tower he'd targeted was right in front of him. Indeed, it seemed his teleportation device had worked exactly as he'd intended, and much better than he'd expected. Leaving the Clockwork City was rumored to be nearly impossible, and yet he'd succeeded in his first attempt. Perhaps he'd learned even more during his tenure as a Clockwork Apostle than he'd realized. It almost made him regret leaving.

But now he was back at home. At least, he hoped he could still call this tower his home. Barilzar cast several detection spells to scan the place for any others who might have called it home in his absence. No life to speak of, save for the occasional nearby kwama. No traps, no enchantments but those he'd left behind. It looked safe. He sighed with relief and entered the tower, eager to resume his old life on Nirn-Above.

Within days, Barilzar had picked up his old projects and started some new ones. It was a somewhat strange adjustment, no longer being surrounded by like-minded researchers, nor benefiting from the mentorship of _the_ preeminent scholar in the field of magical mechanics. Nonetheless, he found himself incorporating what he had learned as an Apostle into his work with relative ease, and within a week, he was back in his old routine.

* * *

In the same area of Azura's Coast, another Dunmer materialized out of seemingly nowhere. He wore a nondescript long-sleeved robe with his hood up, and gloves covering his hands despite the Vvardenfell heat. He could easily have been mistaken for a common pilgrim to Molag Mar, were it not for his height. Detecting only one other sapient life in the area, Sotha Sil lowered his hood and approached the Velothi tower. He removed a glove and knocked on the door with a brass hand.

The loud clanging noise rang through Barilzar's study and shook his focus from his work.

"Undisturbed for all this time, and as soon as I get back, I already have visitors? What's the point of a Velothi tower, anyway?" He pulled over his periscope to see who was outside the tower, only to find that it was none other than the Great Gear, his former mentor. "Oh dear," he whispered.

He stood frozen for a moment, still looking through the periscope. Ever patient, Sotha Sil seemed unperturbed by the delay. Finally, Barilzar scrambled around the lab aimlessly, and then cloaked himself and slipped out the back door. He quietly went around to the front, still invisible, to watch for Sotha Sil to leave.

Seht wondered idly how such an intelligent mer with such strong faith in the Tribunal could really think that a basic illusion would be enough to hide him, but he knew his Apostles tended to have most of their skill in the scholarly areas, with less to spare for common sense. Of course, this was all going exactly as Seht had expected. He wouldn't drop in without warning and expect to be entertained without question. Rather, this visit was simply meant to alert Barilzar that he sought him. So he entertained the renegade Apostle by waiting patiently for a few more ticks before he pulled his hood back up and cast a spell he had been working on that he'd taken to calling by the tongue-in-cheek name "ALMSIVI Intervention" to transport himself to the temple in the nearby town of Molag Mar, disappearing into countless points of light.

* * *

Not wanting to call attention to himself before the whole town, Seht found himself using methods similar to Barilzar's as he made his way from the temple to the Buoyant Armigers' base, only uncloaking himself and lowering his hood as he opened the door.

A few heads turned at his entrance, and those who noticed him suddenly jumped to their feet and began rousing their companions until the whole stronghold was scrambling to get up and show the proper respect to the Tribune, ignoring his attempts to wave them off. Eventually, the Buoyant Armigers all stood at attention with a hand over their heart in a salute.

"Praise the Three!" one called, and the rest repeated the phrase in unison.

Seht awkwardly returned the salute. He was never quite sure how to respond to enthusiastic worshippers, and Vivec's personal guard always seemed to be made up of the most enthusiastic of them all. Still, the ritual provided him with one important source of information: he was easily able to identify their captain.

Now it was the Armigers' turn to feel awkward. They held their salute as Sotha Sil approached their captain, as they had not received orders to do otherwise. Only the captain had the sense—or the courage—to break from attention. She glanced around at the too-quiet stronghold and shook her head with a half-laugh, half-sigh.

"At ease!" she said, waving her arms vigorously at them. Then she turned to Sotha Sil. "Captain Naros, at your service, muthsera. To what do we owe the honor?"

"Greetings, Captain Naros. I thought it prudent to let you know that I will be in town for a few days while I address a matter nearby. The matter is one of some sensitivity, so I would request your discretion. And, if it is not too much trouble, I would appreciate your help."

"We would be happy to serve you," Naros said. "But I must ask, what sort of discretion are you requesting? We are honor-bound to report all of our undertakings to Lord Vivec, even the discreet ones."

Seht nodded. "Please, speak freely to Vivec about my visit. I simply wish to avoid attracting attention to my presence among the general population."

Naros smiled. "Then we will gladly help you to the extent that we are able. Tell me more of this matter."

"What do you know of one named Barilzar?"

"Barilzar..." the captain repeated thoughtfully. "Sprightly Telvanni mage, could be mistaken for a Bosmer if it weren't for the eyes, lives in that old Velothi tower outside of town, a little eccentric but surprisingly likeable?"

"The very same."

"Actually, I haven't heard anything of him in years. I'd assumed he finally got caught in one of his explosions."

"He was away for a time to pursue studies in another location, but he has taken up residence in his tower again," Seht explained. "I assume that in the past, he would periodically come into town to pick up necessities?"

"Yes, we used to see him at least once a week, more if he was scouting for hirelings."

"Good. I would like to be alerted when he leaves his tower."

"Understood. Should we intercept him?"

"No, no," Seht said, waving a hand. "He mustn't be aware that he is being watched."

Naros narrowed her eyes. "Understand, muthsera, that for all our love of the Tribunal, we are sworn foremost to Lord Vivec, who has tasked us with maintaining the safety of Molag Mar and the pilgrims traveling in the area. Does Barilzar pose some sort of threat that we should be aware of?"

Seht shook his head. "Nothing of the sort. You have my word."

"Thank you," Naros said, returning to her buoyant state. "In that case, I'll arrange a squad of some of our finest rogues to keep a watch on Barilzar's tower and alert you of his movements. Where will you be staying?"

"Actually, I haven't made arrangements yet."

She smiled. "No problem. I'll talk to the innkeeper and arrange for a room at The Penitent Pilgrim—I know, the name's a bit ironic given the circumstances, but it's the best in town, and he won't ask questions if I vouch for you."

"Greatly appreciated, sera," Seht said with a half-bow.

* * *

Barilzar was having a hard time returning to his work after such a jarring interruption. Even several days later, he found himself checking and re-checking his alert enchantments, and spending more time looking through his periscope than actually focusing on his work. He knew Sotha Sil would not have simply given up after one attempt to reach him, but the Father of Mysteries was really taking his time with the follow-up.

By the fifth day, Barilzar's pantry was nearing empty, and so he begrudgingly admitted it was time to hazard a trip into town. It wasn't as if Lord Seht was going to send an army of factotums to accost him and drag him back to the Clockwork City in the middle of the plaza. Was he?

The mage carefully made his way out of the tower. He jumped when he tripped his own alert enchantment, and then grumbled and dispelled it as though he were swatting an insect away. Keeping his steps light, he began to half-jog, half-tiptoe toward Molag Mar, looking over his shoulder every second or so, just to be safe.

Unbeknownst to him, a network of cloaked Buoyant Armigers relayed a signal all the way back to The Penitent Pilgrim. The Buoyant Armiger posted at the door to the inn poked his head inside and nodded to his colleague, who casually strolled upstairs and knocked on Sotha Sil's door.

"All set, sera," the Armiger said, as if alerting a pilgrim that their escort was ready.

The door quietly opened, the air whispered, "Thank you again for the assistance," and an invisible Sotha Sil headed to the Velothi tower outside of town.

* * *

Having successfully acquired groceries without incident, Barilzar made the short trek home. He paused at the door when he noticed his alert was missing, but then remembered that he had triggered it and subsequently dispelled it on the way out. Feeling a little more confident than when he left, he brought his groceries up to the living quarters and began to put them away, humming quietly to himself.

"Oh, pardon me," he said instinctively when he bumped into someone by the herb cabinet. "Wait..." he looked up to see the towering figure of his former mentor steeping a pot of tea, with two cups ready.

"Barilzar," Sotha Sil gave his usual half-bow of greeting and what passed for him as a warm smile. "Excellent timing. The tea is ready. Join me." He carried the tray over to the sitting area.

Barilzar simply stood, watching, processing, holding a head of scrib cabbage in each hand, while Sotha Sil sat down and poured a cup of tea for each of them.

"Please," Seht said, setting Barilzar's cup on the table in front of the other chair and indicating that the mage should take it.

Barilzar slowly set the cabbage on the counter and carefully stepped toward his seat.

"Erm...thank you," he said as he sat down and picked up the tea.

Naturally, Seht knew that Barilzar was terrified, but he also knew this conversation was absolutely necessary, and so he did his best to maintain as casual an atmosphere as possible. Right now, that meant calmly sipping his tea while waiting for Barilzar to acclimate to the situation.

Questions and calculations flooded Barilzar's mind, with each calculation leading to more questions. Why was Sotha Sil here? Why _wouldn't_ he be here? Why was he being so calm? Was the tea poisoned? _Did the Father of Mysteries really break into my home and offer me my own tea?_ After a long time, he lifted the cup to his mouth and took a sip, keeping his eyes locked on Sotha Sil.

"So, you've come to take me back, then?" Barilzar asked.

"No."

"Can I take some time to gather my belongings? And I need to get groceries...No I don't; there's plenty of food in the City. Oh, wait, I just went grocery shopping. Why did you wait until after I went grocery shopping?"

"Barilzar," Seht said calmly. "I did not come to take you back to the Clockwork City."

"Oh." Barilzar looked thoughtful. "I thought no one was supposed to leave the Clockwork City." His eyes widened. "Oh dear. Have you come to...silence me? Right after I went shopping?"

"I am simply here to talk."

"Hmm...I suppose that's fine." He took another sip of tea, deciding that it was unlikely to be poisoned. "What about, then?"

"Leaving the Clockwork City is a considerable feat. Tell me of your methods."

"Oh!" Barilzar jumped up, suddenly excited to impress his former mentor. "Wait till you see what I made!" He ran over to his dresser and came back with a ring and launched into a several-minute explanation of its workings while Seht listened carefully.

"Intriguing," Seht replied when Barilzar was done. "From your explanation, it seems as though it should work not only for leaving the City, but also for entering it. Is that intentional?"

Barilzar looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, you know, I tend to forget where or when I left things, and I didn't want anything to get stuck in a different dimension...I thought it would be handy to have a way back for a number of reasons."

Sotha Sil looked more serious than before. "Therein lies the problem: I have taken great care to make it difficult to enter the City. Leaving it open to Nirn-Above leaves it vulnerable to both malicious influences and miscellaneous noise."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry," Barilzar said. "Using the band requires a great deal of knowledge about the City and its workings, or a personal connection to the City itself. Even if someone were to come upon it, they probably wouldn't be able to use it."

"On the contrary, that simply means that the only ones using it will be those who are capable of posing a great threat."

Barilzar's brow furrowed with concern. "I see..."

"May I see the device?"

Barilzar hesitantly handed over the band. "You plan to destroy it, don't you?"

"I do not," Seht said as he took the band. Then he looked up at Barilzar and added, "And neither should you. I agree that having a way to reach the Clockwork City in case of an emergency may come in handy. Though some modifications could be made to limit its utility. For example, you could start by _not_ leaving it imbued with divine energy you 'borrowed' from me." He gave Barilzar a Look, and Barilzar shifted uncomfortably and suddenly became very interested in his tea.

Seht turned his gaze to the band. "I like the aesthetics," he said with a small smile. "In a way, it resembles an abstraction of the Clockwork City."

Barilzar laughed lightly. "Thank you. I had in mind both that and the idea of traversing the maze of the Grey Maybe."

Seht continued examining the mazed band, exploring its architecture with Psijic projection. "The engineering is impressive. Nearly flawless. Well done, I must say. Unfortunately, it only makes your burden greater."

Barilzar looked up from his tea, the fear having returned to his face. "My burden, muthsera?"

Seht looked sadly at the mer who had arrived at the Clockwork City with such promise. He had the ambition of a Telvanni, but the loyalty of a Clockwork Apostle, and the skill to be a shining example of both. He was one of Seht's finest apprentices—and he only took apprentices from the top Apostles to begin with—and Seht knew he could be trusted with even the most sensitive work. It was such a shame what he would become.

He handed the band back to Barilzar. "Perhaps you believe that your business as a Clockwork Apostle is finished—and perhaps it is, in a strict sense. But in truth, your service to me, to the Clockwork City, and to the vision of Tamriel-Final is still young. Your creation is as dangerous as it is powerful, and any consequences that should come from its existence are your responsibility to bear."

"You must guard it with your life and more," he continued. "Under no circumstances may it be allowed to fall into any hands but yours. Do not hand it over briefly to a harmless curious mind. Do not give it to a Daedric Prince under the threat of death or torture. Do not even give it to me or my fellow Tribunes. There can be no exceptions. Do you understand?"

Barilzar nodded slowly. Seht hated that it was necessary to lay such a burden on his student, but necessary it was.

"Someday, you will be called upon for help reaching the City in a time of great need, when imminent disaster looms overhead, and gods old and new join forces in desperation. Even then, you must not hand the band over. Instead, you will operate it, and accompany them, and bear responsibility for their actions."

He paused to let the prophecy sink in.

"This responsibility is yours, and yours alone, from now until the end of time. Do not think that you can pass it along to another when you feel you've grown too old. Neither weakness nor even your death will absolve you of your burden. I suppose it is lucky that you are already looking into a way around death," he said, motioning to the copy of "On Extending Existence" that was sitting on the table. "In truth, I find the practice of necromancy abhorrent, which should come as no surprise to you. But, as you quote me saying, 'a use for every tool and a tool for every job.' In this singular case, extending your existence seems not only reasonable, but critical."

Seht exhaled and realized with regret that he had let his tone get stronger than he had intended. He tapped his fingers against his cup and stared off to the side, the emotional intensity clear on his face, despite being deep in thought. He sat that way for a long time. Barilzar too sat quietly, his mind swimming, processing this drastic change in plans for his life.

Finally, Sotha Sil broke the silence once more. "I am sorry that it is not for the reasons you had intended, though I do hope you can use your additional time to accomplish more research and contribute to the betterment of society, as you planned. I know you have the skill." He sighed. "Truly, I am sorry to place this burden upon you, my friend. I know that you did not create the band out of malice, but would-be threats do not distinguish between malice and simple mortal folly, and neither must I in my dedication to Tamriel-Final."

"Anuvanna'si," Barilzar said weakly, staring at the floor.

Seht sat in thought for a moment longer, and then stood up. "I must take my leave. I have put my work on hold for too long. Thank you for the tea. If you have any questions, well, you know how to reach me."

Barilzar stood too, hesitated, and then bowed deeply, slowly. He looked up at Sotha Sil, the Great Gear, the Divine Metronome, the Father of Mysteries, his former mentor, his king, his god, whom he loved and whose approval he sought with every breath and every action, and he felt the weight of his failure. He had endangered Sotha Sil, his people, and everything he stood for, and perhaps worse, he had disappointed him. And in return, he was given a task that could never be successfully completed; he could only delay his failure as long as possible. But this wasn't about him anymore. It was about protecting the future that Sotha Sil imagined. And truly, it was merciful. Seht could have simply destroyed the band and killed him for good measure. But he hadn't. He kept Barilzar in his service, even trusted him with a duty of immense consequence, and made his favorite tea in the process.

When Barilzar finally found the words to speak, his voice was barely a whisper. "Thank you for giving me another chance."

Sotha Sil's heart lightened at the words. He gave Barilzar a gentle smile and vanished.


End file.
